The Secure Child

Feelings – the bodies motivators

To understand your child’s outward displays of behaviour, you must take a step back and remind yourself of what is at the root of them – their feelings and emotions. Neither good nor bad, these motivators for the body are driving your child’s behaviours even before they don’t understand them.

Managing difficult behaviours and knowing why it can all go wrong

In my work I am seeing more and more adults who seem to have lost the art of play, coming to me unsure of how to act, their role within the play, or concerned for when things did not go as expected. While no child needs to be taught how to play – they will make fun with the most limited of means – they do need permission. And they need adults who understand its importance

Every child needs discipline – but why you should never punish

In my work I am seeing more and more adults who seem to have lost the art of play, coming to me unsure of how to act, their role within the play, or concerned for when things did not go as expected. While no child needs to be taught how to play – they will make fun with the most limited of means – they do need permission. And they need adults who understand its importance.

Recognising the emotions of our friends

Recognising emotions in others and imagining how that person is feeling is all about empathy. And while your child may feel deeply wounded by the actions and comments of others from a very young age, their empathy is not well developed until they are around seven years old. Recognising the emotions of our friends is important in friendships. But for children struggling to recognise their own, this can be tough. Learn how to support your child through these tricky processes.

Primitive Brain reactions to modern day problems

We might expect certain responses from our children. But are you aware of their primitive brain reactions to modern day problems? Sometimes, when we are faced with a very emotional moment, it can feel like we are both in the emotion and at the same time. This is the primitive part of our brain taking over and can feel like we have no control. Whilst this plays an essential role in getting us out of the way of an oncoming car, we do not want our children to automatically react from this place of overwhelming emotions.

emotional meltdown

Why do children have emotional meltdowns? 

Growing up involves a minefield of situations to be negotiated. Sometimes however, the situation we expect children to negotiate is way beyond the maturity or coping mechanisms they have to deal with the situation. In these moments, you may wonder where your little angel has disappeared to. And whether you are parenting a toddler… or a teenager, if you are faced with an exhausted and frustrated bundle of energy, tired, hungry and mad at the world, the responses can be surprisingly familiar.